Archive for September, 2002


Tuesday, September 17th, 2002 at about 11:31 am

Crap my Internet connection doesn’t work. I’m posting from school. I’ve got to call the goddam cable company and see if they’ll fix this. I’ve tried everything, I think its their fault. Morons.

Posted in General
by tom


Sunday, September 15th, 2002 at about 9:32 pm

Today I messed with Javascript on this site for part of the morning. In the end all I did was make a little pop-up (click on “contact me” in the box above), but for a while I was messing with some menus and whatnot. I don’t know Java or Javascript, so I’m just cut-n-pasting, but it works well enough. I really got into it, I think I’m going to try to learn some HTML or at least spiff up this site somehow. But it needs more actual content first.

Mark mentioned my blog on his site. I’ll try to make it less rambly. Today I did my homework, although perhaps not as much as I should have. My essay for English class sucks in a major way. I just wasn’t in the writing groove today. It comes and goes, my ability to write well. Anyone who does creative work can probably relate. It doesn’t happen to me with math, I think because its a different part of the brain. It’s something that’s just there, that I can turn on and off like a faucet. Creativity comes and goes as it pleases. I hate it when I get inspired when I’m trying to go to sleep. Suddenly my brain kicks into overdrive and is running at 100 miles an hour, and I’m lying in bed staring at the ceiling thinking “it’s going to be a long night.” Green Day’s “Brain Stew” is a good song for this. I like the guitar part, too, the on-and-off harsh sounds. But now I’m beginning to ramble.

I’ve got to put quotes into my English essay. I marked where I want a quote in the writing, and then I sorta flipped through the book and found things that should be appropriate. I’ll do that now, then go to bed and try to study for my Chem. test. Need to figure out who Gay-Lussac and Avagadro (or Avacado, as Mark so articulately calls him) were, what they did. I remember most of it, I think, but need to make sure. What really annoys me is when I don’t understand the experiments they did that proved theories that aren’t correct. Because you know it’s wrong, but it makes sense, and you have to remember all this messed-up shit that doesn’t make any sense at all. Whatever, time for English.

Posted in General
by tom


Saturday, September 14th, 2002 at about 10:33 pm

Again, I’ve wasted the day. I got a little work done on a review of a motherboard for Inside Project (a site my cousin owns that I’m involved in), I still need to take pictures. I didn’t do any school work, that can wait until tomorrow. I’ve got to go to the bathroom. I’ve had to for about 15 minutes now. For some reason I don’t mind having to go to the bathroom when I’m doing things on the computer, I just hold it and suddenly everything I’m doing becomes more interesting. It’s strange, I know, but whatever. I’ve accepted that I don’t understand most things, including myself.

I’d like to get some pictures posted that I took in Chicago a few weeks ago. Of course I can’t post it here, since then I’d have to pay and no way am I going to pay for this. I’ll probably look into getting this blog running on a separate server, too, to get rid of those ads. But again, it doesn’t really matter, since almost no one reads this.

I’m trying to find an easy way to export my music library to a text file, just all the names. Then I could put it here and everyone could see the music I like. Or don’t like, in some cases, but don’t bother deleting. I don’t know why there’s Britney Spears music on my computer, probably there from when my sister was using Napster to get songs about three years ago. Whatever, maybe I can do something interesting with it at some point. I have no clue what, but you never know. Me = digital packrat.

I’m listening to Nirvana right now. I downloaded almost their entire Nevermind album last night, not sure why. I like it well enough, but its not particularly fantastic. Some songs are all right, though. I think I’m shallow when it comes to music sometimes. I probably downloaded all that music because I liked the thought of being a Nirvana fan. I’m such a self-centered, self-conscious bastard sometimes. I’m working on it, though.

Anyway, off the watch TV. It’s my refuge from all things real. Sometimes I’ve wondered why I watch TV a lot sometimes, and I’ve come to this conclusion: It gives me an escape from real life. I think I watch TV more when I’m going through a depressing or otherwise unhappy phase. I’m not sure of this, it would take careful observation to prove, but it seems logical at least. The worse life is at the moment, the greater the need to escape it. And TV is the best way of escape (temporary, doesn’t do much, if any, long-term damage, and its effective). So that’s why I watch TV. And I’m kinda sick of staring at a computer screen, so I’ll go stare at a TV screen instead.

Posted in General
by tom


Friday, September 13th, 2002 at about 10:47 pm

So here’s my blog. Cordelia and Mark sorta got me started on the idea. We didn’t have blogs in New Jersey. I suppose they could have been successful there, just never were. Oh well. The title is partly from a Less than Jake and partly just sorta my own mind. I’m listening to Nirvana and now Mark’s Aluminum Cans. It’s actually quite good, I like it. I’m not really into instrumental stuff, words are too important to me, but if the music can speak then there’s no need for them. I’m not sure if Mark’s music really speaks, but I can decide that later. Now I’ve stopped that (it’s too long to listen to right now, I need something different), now the music is Dashboard Confessional, “Again I Go Unnoticed”. But enough of the music I’m listening to.

One think I’m noticing about Blogging already is how things tend to run together. It’s train-of-thought writing. Sorta like the Catcher in the Rye. What a fascinating book. I bring it up because Mark’s reading it, and I’m thinking of reading it again. I’m talking about Mark a lot, which probably seems a little creepy, but I spent like 4 hours with him today so I guess that’s why. But on to bigger and better (or just different) things.

As I was saying, no blogs in Jersey. I moved recently, in early August. August 1st, to be exact. My dad got a job here, we moved, that’s it. I don’t blame us, it’s a good opportunity for him and it’s actually better here than I thought. I don’t dare say its better than where I came from, but time will tell I suppose. People are friendlier here. The kids at school sorta assimilated me into their ecclectic culture so readily, it surprises me. But what a wonderful surprise it is. I think I like it here. I like the people, I like the fact that there are more people in this town. I come from a town of 8,000 people. That’s nothing. But, unlike here, we weren’t buffered by cornfields. It was small town after small town after small town, all in the suburbia that is New Jersey. We were exurbs of NYC. Suburbs of the suburbs, in other words. East Coast is… something else. It’s not like here. It’s a different attitude, a different lifestyle almost. But that’s something for another time, I need to sort out how to say it in my head. Here in Champaign-Urbana there are about 100,000 people, plus 35,000 students during the school year. I walk around campus and just look at all the people, it makes me smile. How can I not? I walked around town in New Jersey and saw people, often people I didn’t know, but it’s not the same. Not as many people, and they weren’t young people. It makes such a difference, for some reason. I like walking around with all the college students, maybe its some lingering feelings of the little boy who wants to grow up, but more likely I’m getting a feeling of belonging, more. I’m not in college, true, but these people walking around me surely can relate to me better than the 46 year old mother with two kids and a shopping cart full of groceries can. That’s what you see in New Jersey. Not a guy playing a banjo on top of the hill over at Illini Meadows, not the signs that say “Concert Friday, $2, 4 bands,” not the young couple in the throws of love. It’s a more… perhaps a more romantic atmosphere. Not literally, not in the sense of affection for a single other person, but in the sense of a love for the situation, a love for everyone, all the people. I like it here.

I mentioned Uni High’s eclectic culture. It’s a strange one, but in a beautifully accepting sort of way. There’s none of this pathetic social quabbling that I’m so used to, none of this clique bullshit, nothing. We were finally getting away from it at my old school, at the end of last year we were more or less unified, but with the advent of highschool it was going to regress immediately. And even at its peak our social structure could not compare to the unity of Uni’s. While there’s still a little tensions between groups, its much more subtle. A welcome change, still. I’m still surveying the situation, but I can sorta see the little groups that are formed. I suppose at some point I’ve got to become associated with one, but in some ways I really don’t want to. It’s sorta nice to be the new kid, because you’re welcome nearly anywhere. But it’s a free ride that’s good only so many times. I’ve got to wait and see how things go.

Posted in General
by tom