Archive for November 6th, 2002

god help me, i need this

Wednesday, November 6th, 2002 at about 9:46 pm

god help me, i need this

Yesterday was a pretty good day. Today, in comparison, was rather bad. The day just sorta dragged along, nothing happened. Didn’t go out to lunch, spent most of the time just sitting around trying to absorb information from people studying for the history test. It worked rather well, I think. I couldn’t focus in Math. Then came the actual history test, which was delightfully difficult. I don’t really mind, a test is a test, a grade is a grade, whatever. But it wasn’t a pleasant way to spend the hour. Then came Driver’s Ed, mind-numbing, but it could have been worse I guess. I got home, ate some left overs (for the third night in a row) for dinner. Spent a while staring at my math book, trying to figure out the homework. I just gave up. I didn’t even bring home the Health. I’m going to ignore the Chem. test until I have to take in tomorrow morning. The English paper isn’t due for another two days, so again I’m ignoring it.

My parents tell me they don’t want me going on the Greek trip. I could understand if it were too expensive or something. But no, they just feel that adding this in addition to what we already have planned is cramming too much into one summer. So, unless I can convince them I’m going, which I still may yet do, I’ll be spending most of June bumming around the house. I don’t understand how that’s better than going to Greece. I did the planning, everything would fit. I don’t want to be here next summer. I waste my days too much as it is. Last summer was a complete failure. I can’t be given the opportunity to do it again.

So this is why today was pissy. And that mindset only made it worse. I think I’ll go collapse in bed. Maybe I can get 8 hours of sleep tonight. No, probably not. I’ll stay here glued to this screen until past 10, slowly stumble my way up the stairs, brush my teeth, and fall leaden into the folds of my sheets. A few hours later, the radio is going to be playing to wake me up. I’ll fall back out of bed, try to wake up in the shower. 25 minutes later I’m more or less sentient, but I still can’t speak. I’m downstairs and dressed, shoveling something sugary into my mouth and scanning the headlines. A 15 minute drive, I’m at school. 8 hours (damn we have a long school day) of braincramp, and it’s another 15 minute drive home, to do my homework, another round of left overs, and some TV to drown out my troubles. I swear this cycle is going to kill me.

Posted in General
by tom