Archive for February, 2003

sullen eyes

Friday, February 21st, 2003 at about 9:52 pm

sullen eyes

Man a lot of bad shit happened this past week or so: Fire in Rhode Island nightclub, stampede in Chicago club, air plane crashes, and explosion at a refueling station in Staten Island. Plus things on the personal front seem tragic - people from Watchung Hills tell me that a sophomore died of cancer this past Tuesday. I didn’t know him, but still. One of my mom’s friends’ mother died. There’s more, I think, but it’s too depressing to think about. Quite a coincidence, all of this.

On a totally unrelated note, while looking at CNN’s web site, I found this story. The Passaic River ran through my old town, formed the southern border. I used to go back into the woods during the winter and go out on the ice. I fell through once, only one of the my legs. My friend helped me out, and as much as it sucked because my foot was freezing, I was fine. I fell in another time, too, when it wasn’t frozen but the water was still frigid. That one sucked even more. It was one of the few times in my life that I was thoroughly convinced I was going to die. It isn’t a pleasant feeling. Anyway, I’m done with my funky form of nostalgia for tonight.

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by tom

brave brave sir robin

Friday, February 21st, 2003 at about 4:43 pm

brave brave sir robin

My plans to go to a hockey game tonight were clotheslined when everyone got sick. It’s like an epidemic or something: Matt, Annie, Maggie, Zoë, Ben, everyone is sick. That which does not kill me might make me stronger, but it’s still going to hurt. Cowardice? There’s a fine line between bravery and stupidity. This has so little to do with what I started talking about, though, that I’m just going to stop writing.

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by tom

3652999999999999999999

Friday, February 21st, 2003 at about 2:39 pm

3652999999999999999999

I am sitting in CS. I am bored. That is my story.

Nuole is sitting next to me. We are reading blogs. Or at least we were, now she’s gone back to searching article databases for various teacher’s names. Good times. Except she’s reading it and I feel embarrassed and stupid about it. Oh well. She’s hitting keys on my keyboard. Argh…. I sound like a pirate. Pirate Tom. Yes.

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by tom

bow before me

Thursday, February 20th, 2003 at about 4:57 pm

bow before me

For I am Costanza, Lord of the Idiots

Such is the way I feel, perhaps somewhat inexplicably. I saw that episode last night and it kept flashing back into my mind today.

I really want to go to the basketball game, but alas, not can do. It angers me. But alas, so it goes.

I have so very little to say.

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by tom

major correction:

Wednesday, February 19th, 2003 at about 9:51 pm

major correction:

Mark on went back once. I apologize for any unnecessary pain, suffering, negligence, or frivolous lawsuits this grievous error may have caused.

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by tom

just like a prayer

Wednesday, February 19th, 2003 at about 6:23 pm

just like a prayer

I hear your voice, it’s like an angel sighing

Man the H20 cover of Like a Prayer is awesome.

I promise not to talk about the piano anymore.

I am very much looking forward to watching tv tonight. I need to… relax. Not that I have anything to be stressed about. I had maybe 20 minutes of homework tonight, everything on the academic front is smooth sailing, as is the rest of my life. But still, I want to turn off my brain for a little while.

I’m talking to my friend Diane from New Jersey. We’re having an interesting discussion about nasty picture sites. Not like porn or anything, just disgusting stuff. She’s doing a report on anthrax, and came across some disgusting pictures. I directed her to www.sendmeyourwound.com for some nasty shit. I didn’t even bother with www.ogrish.com, because I don’t know how to spell it.

Mark was being a rather complete jackass today by following Ben and Maggie around with his camera until he could catch them making out. Granted, it’s rather funny, but there’s a certain line not to be crossed. And considering he went back three times (once forgot the camera, once batteries went dead), I think he left that line in the proverbial dust.

OK, I’m out of here.

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by tom

enjoy the humor of the situation

Wednesday, February 19th, 2003 at about 5:15 pm

enjoy the humor of the situation

The oddest thing happened today. I called Zoe during lunch, since she’s been sick. Or at least we thought she was sick, it wasn’t exactly a fact, which was half the reason I was calling. Anyway, her sister answered, but I thought it was her. “Hi, Zoe?” “Yea” She must have misheard me, or I misspoke. We had a short conversation about how she was feeling and how her trip went. Keep in mind this whole time I thought she was Zoe, and she didn’t know who I was (I said Tom, but I don’t think that name meant much to her). I did notice that her voice was a little high, but I just assumed it was because she was sick. At one point she also asked if I wanted to speak to her mom, which I thought was rather odd, but then again it’s rather odd that I would be calling in the middle of the day I guess. Zoe came by the school 20 minutes later to get some books, and explained it was her sister on the phone. It made quite a bit of sense, but I must admit I was rather embarrassed. More so I was relieved, though, since talking with her sister had been a little awkward. I thought it was because something was wrong, but now I realize it was probably because she didn’t know who I was.

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by tom

what to do, what to do

Tuesday, February 18th, 2003 at about 6:12 pm

what to do, what to do

My mother wants me to do something with myself. She says no, I don’t have to play the piano, or do any other particular thing, but I have to do something. And this is fair. I have no earthly idea what to do, though. Maybe I’ll find some interesting class to take. Hobbies don’t really cut it, I don’t think. She wants me to be out doing something, preferably something difficult. Something challenging. I guess that’s a good idea. But I’ll need to come up with something to take.

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by tom

mildly sufficient

Monday, February 17th, 2003 at about 9:48 pm

mildly sufficient

Damnable piano. I’m talking to Cordelia about destruction of it as therapy. What possibly annoys me most is that practicing actually isn’t that painful. I’m now afraid that I’ll have a moment of weakness and keep up lessons, thus allowing myself to be enslaved by it indefinitely. At this point I calm my nerves to the point where I can actually play something by assuring myself that it’s only for this week, and after the next lesson (which I have to go to) I can stop. It’s almost like the opposite of a heroine addiction, or something. I really don’t understand it.

I have neglected my poor blog of late. Well, perhaps the last two days. Still, I should be posting with more…. frequency. I’m not entirely sure why I bother at all. It’s entirely selfish, of this I’m sure. I certainly don’t write this for the benefit of the reader. But then why do I? Perhaps it’s so I can have something to remember this section of my life by. After all, this is essentially a journal. It’s also probably some mild voyeuristic tendency of mine. Or, rather, the opposite of a voyeur. Exhibitionist?

I have this constant craving for music and I never know what it is. I stare at the 1600 tracks in my library and think “none of this is right”. And then I don’t know what to do. So I pick something that isn’t quite right but will at least make me forget how I felt. Forget what it was I needed. Good enough. This is my mantra, how sad. Good enough.

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by tom

‘the school does not need a regime change’

Sunday, February 16th, 2003 at about 5:09 pm

‘the school does not need a regime change’

Those of you who read the New York Times might want to check today’s Op-Ed section. I’m rather fond of the short piece on the Simpsons. I would post it here, except for some rot about copyright laws.

Posted in General
by tom