Archive for March 13th, 2003

laughing in the face of a hellish world

Thursday, March 13th, 2003 at about 6:37 pm

laughing in the face of a hellish world

Walking to the bus stop from the Green Street Café with Maggie and Zoë today I realized (and this didn’t have much to do with the moment, it was more a culmination of various thoughts I’ve been having) that I care about school too much. I was reflecting that nearly all of my academic pressure was internal. And it is. At the same time, if I don’t care suddenly I get all panicy because thinking about the future scares me even more shitless than usual. I really cannot fathom life after highschool. It’s petty and short-sighted, I realize, but it’s all I know. I don’t want to think about college. I don’t want to think about life. I want to sit in a coffee house and drink strange frozen tea concoctions and discuss the virtues of a menagerie of immature topics. I’m having way too much fun being 15 to think about anything else. And, come to think of it, isn’t that healthy? I guess we’re so used to wanting to be something we aren’t (older/younger/bigger/smaller/smarter/whatever) that it comes as a shock when I want to be exactly where I am.

Today in English we were discussing the virtues (or lack thereof) of living in a utopia. My perfect world rather interested me. It was clearly flawed, but I still decided it was somewhere I wanted to live. We were theorizing what a perfect world would consist of, but most people didn’t seem to be particularly enticed by what they came up with. My world consisted of a race devoted entirely to frivolous artistic pursuits. Machines would do all the labor, and people would be free to do whatever they wanted. Children would be raised by society as a whole (and procreation would be done away with, they would grow on trees or something). Of course, unless people are occupied all hell breaks loose, so it’s necessary to keep everyone busy. A race of artists, mathematicians, and philosophers feverishly pursuing nothing in particular. It doesn’t sound terribly good, but it might work. And for the moments when you’re feeling down, narcotics. Yes, it’s a blatant Brave New World ripoff, but Huxley had the right idea, partially. We just need to take it a step further. Get back to the roots, a primordial sense of accomplishment without all the bureaucracy and red tape of a modern day society. Let people be people again, freer than anyone is today. Of course, even something so loftily placed as this world will develop problems, so I introduced (what else?) God. Whenever something goes wrong, God is there to fix it. And not the idea of God, I mean an actual deity there to make things right. Belief isn’t what’s important, because he exists whether you believe it or not. What he does for the human race is the important part. Granted, he would have to be awfully benevolent, but hey, it’s God.

A problem arises in any utopia, no matter how ideal. Humans can only interpret emotions and sensations relatively. If you’ve had a ringing in your ears since birth, you can’t hear it. So if you’re always happy, you won’t actually recognize what happiness is. There needs to be a frame of reference, basis for comparison. My solution was the pain babies and then remove the pain, and have them be happy for the rest of their lives. I’m not sure how well that would work, however. It isn’t something I’m going to lose sleep over, however, because I don’t have the power to recreate the universe in the image of my (possibly slightly perverse) fantastical worlds.

Background noise: “Porcelain” Moby

Posted in General
by tom