wasted days

It makes me sad that Zoë is so busy. She’s got all sorts of stuff to do, and is hence occupied all day long most days. And since my dad isn’t so happy about me going out every night, that means seeing her is somewhat difficult. And soon it just gets worse, and then school starts, at which point it all goes to hell. Fuck, I can make myself miserable sometimes. Upbeat, that’s the way to be, and still no one listens. No one ever listens. Your subconscious is a stupid piece of shit with the emotional structure of a 6 year old, but it manages to control you anyway. It’s only your conscious mind that manages to beat it into submission every once in a while.

And as I write this the music changes to something involving what might be a harmonica (it’s a shitty recording, so I can’t tell) and it sounds all right, and I feel all right. So here’s to mood swings.

background noise: “I am Citizen” Against Me!

Ah, it’s good to be back. Last night I went to the hardcore show at the Red Herring, that was a pretty good time. The show was so-so, but I haven’t been to one in months, so it was really good to go again. And I got to see my friends, too, which is a big plus, after not seeing half of them for 8 weeks. Highlights of the show - one of the guys from one of the bands was dressed in tight black clothing and had cat ears on, and kept making odd, rather flamboyant motions. At the end of their set he starts crawling around and meowing. Another member of that band (The Retaliation Project) took off all his clothes for their last song, too, and so was running around naked while Catman was twisting and smiling and being flamboyant while screaming into a microphone. Hardcore doesn’t usually go so well with that kind of stage show, but I found it incredibly entertaining.

So today I did some laundry and mowed the lawn, before going up to campus with Mark. He wanted to take some pictures, but that didn’t last too long, as there isn’t anything of interest to take pictures of. But, so it goes. We went to Za’s, then Rentertainment, where I picked up Trainspotting to watch tonight with Zoë and Mark left to go home. I then had an hour to kill, and was wandering around when who should ride by on his bike but Zuke! So we walked over to Walgreen’s and discovered the joy of reading all the greeting cards there. At 4:30 I went to my dad’s office and he went to work in one of the labs a couple floors above there. My dad and I went to get me a bus pass and then food shopping. I’m going to go help him make dinner now.

All in all not a bad day. I like summer.

background noise: “Burn” Against Me!, and “Iwoya” Angelique Kidjo and Dave Matthews

Ok, so I’m back. But I don’t really feel like writing at the moment. So much more to come, at some later time.

We took a trip to Brussels and Bruge (in Belgium) Wednesday and Thursday. It was a good time, although it was hot and crowded wherever we went. It was still a good thing to do, though. We went to the Belgian coast as well, it was good to see the ocean and walk out on the pier.

Other than this little trip I haven’t really done anything. Tomorrow night there is this family reunion with the Wiltziuses, I haven’t met almost any of these people before (and if I have, I don’t remember since I was too young) but it still might be interesting. Or not, I don’t know. There won’t be anyone my age there, so far as I know. But its only one night, how bad can it be?

This Saturday there’s a huge Jazz festival here. That should be a good time. It goes (apparently) from 5 in the afternoon until 5 in the morning, with the bands changing every hour at a bunch of different places around town. So you see what you want to see, and do what you want to do. Sounds great, hopefully it’ll be fun.

My dad and I leave for England Tuesday. I don’t think I’ll post again before then, and won’t be able to afterwards either. So I won’t be writing anything for a couple weeks, about. Maybe a little less. But, that’s just how it goes. Until then,

Today we went around the country, visited a few little villages with castles in them. It was pleasant. My sister was feeling sick, so she didn’t come. I think she’s feeling better, though. Tomorrow’s her birthday, so I hope so. I think I’ll take her to the downtown and we’ll hang out for a couple of hours. Might be fun.

background noise: “California Babylon” The Transplants

Well, here I am in Luxembourg. Luckily I have access to my aunt and uncle’s ISDN line, so I can still check in and read e-mail and such every once in a while. It’s nice.

Every time I travel (or at least the most recent two times) out of the country I am always surprised at how much I am conscious of my being foreign. I always fear I’ll accidentally break some cultural taboo, even though I know perfectly well that where I am that’s not likely to happen. My plans to try to use a little French here are quickly going down la toilette as well, since not only can I not understand a single word anyone says, but I don’t think they would understand me if I tried to say anything either. So, that’s that. I resign myself to reading the first paragraph of the French articles in the newspaper (here French and German are written, while French, German and Luxembourgish are spoken).

I will say one thing, though: Food here is about 15 times better than food in the US. I like to go to the cheese section at the grocery store we were in this afternoon and see several rows of cheeses, instead of maybe 10 total.

Tomorrow I believe we’re going to Wiltz (for which my family is named). That should be interesting, and it’s a chance to get out of the city. Another thing I notice when traveling is how much I despise cities. This (Luxembourg) is a very nice city, its small and old and pleasant. It’s not all the people that bother me, quite so much as all the people in such a confined space. Really, I don’t mind it here at all, because its not that crowded, but when given the choice I always prefer the countryside.

background noise: “Down in Flames” Semisonic

I finally got Less than Jake’s (relatively) new CD “Anthem” yesterday. I’m quite happy with it. It got good reviews, which kinda surprised me for some reason. My fears about them going more mainstream seem to be mostly unfounded. Their musical style is still sorta heading towards more typical rock than ska, but that doesn’t really bother me, because it’s still good. They went back to a major label, but that doesn’t really bother me either, because the music is still good. I think I’ll listen to that CD quite a bit on the plane ride to Luxembourg today.

Interestingly enough, my dad and I are flying through Gatwick (London), while my mom and sister are flying through Paris. My dad and I are going to England for a week after Luxembourg, so that’s just the way it had to work out. My mom and sister are going to kill each other. But I guess that’s how it goes. Hopefully they can manage to kinda get along for a while. Given that length of time and the stress of overnight international travel, I highly doubt that’ll happen.

background noise: “Farther” Third Eye Blind

I’m back at the Jersey shore for a day and a half. Baltimore was a good time, got to see family and such. Tuesday we’re leaving for Luxembourg. I dunno if I’ll write from there. Probably at least once. Or not. Does it really matter? No, I thought not.

Damn it’s hot here. The house has been closed up like a giant green house for days. I need a drink.

The 4th of July. A blaze of mostly-misdirected patriotism and (more importantly, of course) commercialism, as with any other holiday. But it’s harmless enough, so I don’t really care. We’ll set off our fireworks made by Chinese slave labor and wave our flags to better blur their meaning. It’s just the way things go. I’m looking forward to the celebration tonight, actually. I haven’t been to a 4th of July in a while. I’m always at camp this time of year, but not this year. I’ll get to see the Baltimore Country Club’s show (we’re in Baltimore now). If the way it was last time I was here (5 years ago) is any indication, it’ll be great. Food and fire everywhere.

background noise: “Deep Inside of You” Third Eye Blind

So today I decide to try to do something about the fact that I’m not good at being around people I don’t know. My sister is hanging out with these same guys again, so I go over and sit with them for a while. It was nothing important, it was just a small personal victory of not being too shy or antisocial to do it. Turns out they’re all total fucking idiots, but that really isn’t the point. At least I can now make the decision to not hang out with them anymore because they’re complete morons, instead of allowing the decision to be made by fear. It’s something, at least.

background noise: “I’m Dying Tomorrow” Alkaline Trio