Archive for October, 2003

groan

Monday, October 6th, 2003 at about 3:22 pm

I have no consistency in my thoughts and emotions. I go from feeling like time is flying by without me noticing to feeling like forever is this afternoon, and that there is nothing good happening. It’s a dilemma.

Posted in General
by j. android

‘ with nothing else to do, it’ll just be me and you ‘

Monday, October 6th, 2003 at about 3:21 pm

When I was little I used to get sick after watching movies that scared me or freaked me out. It was terrible. That went away a long time ago, though. Rarely bothers me any more, and always now for different reasons (not movies).

Right now I’m struggling with massive boredome. It just snuck up on me, all of the sudden like that. But it hit me, and hard, that I have nothing to do. Nothing at all. I have no hobbies any more. Over the past few months I’ve basically abandoned all of the things I used to like doing, and haven’t replaced them with anything. I don’t watch TV, I don’t read, I don’t play computer games, I don’t make stupid little things for the Internet, nothing. Faced with days with little responsibility and little to do, I’m beginning to panic. This nauseous state of emptiness, I hate it, I’m scared of it, I don’t know what to do. I just don’t know.

Posted in General
by j. android

time goes by

Sunday, October 5th, 2003 at about 1:04 am

Man life slides by. I’ve lost all grip on time. It’s already early October. How did that happen? I feel like everything is a long ways away, the summer, the fall, and everything. Which puts the here and now somewhere in the out of sight, out of mind. Life goes too fast, and what’s more it never feels like it at the time. Days into weeks into months, I’ll be dead before I know it. Maybe that’s the way its meant to be.

background noise: “The Background” Third Eye Blind

Posted in General
by j. android

hakuna mattata (spelling?)

Friday, October 3rd, 2003 at about 7:17 am

I think tomorrow is going to be a good relaxing day. Because I’ve got plenty of homework, no doubt, but as far as I can tell that’s really all I have to do most of the day. So unless I go and search out something to do, I can just sorta sit around. Maybe I’ll watch a movie. Or probably I’ll go try to buy some slippers, my feet are cold in this house. Yes, that would be good.

background noise: “DND” semisonic

Posted in General
by j. android