wasted days

So I saw Bill Gates tonight. Interesting, right? It was, in fact. His lecture wasn’t anything revolutionary, but it was well done and I enjoyed it. Probably only because now I can say I’ve seen Bill Gates, but that doesn’t matter much. It’s strange, how amazingly normal he looks. Just some middle aged guy, head bobbed forward because he’s been sitting in front of screens most of his life and a voice that reminded me a Kermit the frog. Hard to believe that this is the richest man in the world. But hey, good for him. He was fairly likeable, although I’m not sure whether I went into it wanting to like him or not. The audience was mostly students, who are of course fairly critical of him but also begrudgingly respectful. Not the worst of reputations, I suppose. I’m glad I got to go.

Hey look, it turns out Saddam is still alive. Let’s charge that fucker with genocide, already! Oh, wait… why would we do that when we can do it in October instead, and force the mess left behind in Iraq out of the news just before election day by dragging our prize around the Hague.

I don’t really do anything new anymore. It’s all the same. Sometimes its fun and sometimes it isn’t, but that doesn’t seem to affect anything. Oh well. This play, As You Like It, better be good. At least it’s a little change of pace. Memorizing Shakespeare does not appear to be the forte of everyone on the cast (myself included). In the fall play we didn’t have lines down until two or three days before the show. Something in me says that isn’t going to work this time.

background noise: Halfway Between the Gutter and the Stars // Fatboy Slim

Hey, it’s Valentine’s day. It would be sweet if it wasn’t created by the corporations to sell cards and candy. Hency, I’m boycotting cards and candy. Then it’s all right, no? Not that it matters. Maybe Valentine’s day is really just an occasion to encourage procreation. I mean, it’s not like we need the population increase, but it’s conceivable. I was developing this theory about how it was a post-war invention designed to help restore the population. But that doesn’t make any sense, because it began being celebrated in the 1700’s and the population boomed after the second World War anyway. So much for that theory.

Sans toi, je ne suis rien. Oh, but it weighs me down. Sometimes when you want to be something, and can’t, the only viable alternative is to just despise it. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em, and if you can’t join ‘em better to just take a swing. I guess, who knows?

Tonight I witnessed, out of the corner of my eye, a marriage proposal and reminders of an unreachable past. It was sweet, really, the proposal. Simple and direct, casually offered in nearly the same breath as a request to please pass the noodles. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a proposal before. This one, certainly, I am glad to have watched, and I wish them the very best.

Fruit loops are actually kind of disgusting, but I feel very attached to them because no one else in my family eats them. I wonder if that means anything.

Adobe GoLive is resource-hungry and tends to crash about 1/3 of the time I open it. Stupid thing. Oh well, at least my computer isn’t being held hostage by viruses. Or viri. Whatever.

I get the distinct impression that I’m pretty lazy. I am at once selfishly convinced that I shouldn’t really have to work hard at much of anything, and driven by an intense desire to do well. This just sort of gets ignored most of the time and doesn’t affect much, but every once in a while erupts into chaotic contradiction. Generally when I go through a bout of particular laziness and can’t be bothered to actually do anything, and then get pissed when its suddenly hard to get away with it. I guess it’s most school, but this tends to seep into other aspects of life as well. Nothing really interests me right now. I’ve got plenty of things to do, there are plenty of things I do do, but overall none of it really seems worthwhile. Boredom, I guess, for want of a more sophistictated word. Stupid boy, things don’t always work the way they should. And how should they work? Less effort on my part, I suppose. Things happen, and I barely blink. It’s all a little routine, even if I’ve never been there before. What’s the use?