Archive for May 11th, 2005

hello Armageddon

Wednesday, May 11th, 2005 at about 7:17 pm

Joseph and Kelly and Abigail and Terrance and Eli and Toby, known to themselves as scorners of Providence and children of a most obscure God and to everyone else as nothing but laughably existential teenagers, all looked tough in those days. To be sure, they were each different, but they shared a friendship in the way that only those with a common ideology can. In those days their hearts were like pistons and their mouths like carburetors, their words like gasoline and their eyes the glazed-over window to a mind singularly focused on Armageddon. To some of them it was the thrill of being hell-bent on anything that prompted them to the ferocious tendencies of their entirely overwhelmed youth. For others it was the uncomplicated and irresistibly vast force of a Life so strong. For Joseph and Abigail, it was a mode of escape from personalities of intense responsibility and an excuse to enjoy one another’s company without guilt or apprehension.

Their ideology was crafted from such a wide variety of forces and yet, remarkably, interpreted largely uniformly. They had succeeded in creating something that filled for each of them their most pressing need but did not cause strife or discord between them. Theirs was a strange nihilism, either an optimistic apathy or a most exceedingly pessimistic hope. They smiled and reveled in their successful indifference and did not despair in their lack of purpose. They were in some ways fatalists, sure of only the fact that nothing was certain and simply grateful for an Existence. They convinced themselves of the unimportance of Outcome and instead savored Process.

Though they spit and shouted they also laughed like thunder and spring rain and held for each other an affection that was in some ways the greatest contradiction to their self-proclaimed unconcern. In those days they were happy.

Posted in General
by j. android

the monolith

Wednesday, May 11th, 2005 at about 6:24 am

We won our baseball game yesterday in a smashing 10-0 victory over St. Jo. They were a pretty good team, and they had this coach that would ride the kids for every little mistake. And he kept challenging the umpire’s calls. At one point he and Rocky locked horns about something, shouting at each other across the field. I watched them argue from where I was standing in left field, at the traintracks running along the right side of it, and then out behind me across the sweeping fields of the Midwestern plain and up into a sun that looks for all the world like the eye of God veiled by some magnificent religion cumulus. I looked at these things and breathed the freshly cut grass and have never felt so American.

Posted in General
by j. android