‘it’s not the pain i’m used to it’

Summer is ending. I’ve been kind of caught up in this for the past few weeks now, but it’s pretty much here. Today and tomorrow, and that’s it. Oddly enough, it seems less real now than every before. I think, “School’s starting” and it no longer evokes any kind of strong reaction. I don’t think I believe it anymore. Which is good. I’ve decided I need to live a little more in the present. There’s always something bad that will be happening some time in the future, and I tend to fixate on that too much. But I’m changing. Now I’m just happy to be able to spend a nice Saturday having fun, then a good Sunday partying before the final hammer falls and the death bells toll for the end of summer. Maybe I’ll go to church tomorrow, I don’t know. Actually, I probably won’t. I haven’t been since Easter, I think. Going this often seems fake, stupid, useless. But I want to go sometimes, I really do. My mother finally took interest in going, after I don’t know how long of not caring. She’s not extremely motivated, but at least she’s given it some thought. So we’ll see how that works out.

background noise: “Down in Flames” Semisonic

14 Responses to “‘it’s not the pain i’m used to it’”

  1. name Says:

    lol! death bells!!
    DEATH BELLS!!!

  2. theBABYsnatcher Says:

    ‘it’s feeling like I’m already dead’

    if I meet you, I will hit you. very hard. I will make your ovaries explode, the eggs fissioning like little nuclear reactions. except you’re probably a guy. I was once told about a guy who got kicked in the crotch during a basket ball game. his testis exited his scrotum, and made their way into his body. one was found under his ribcage, the other underneath an ab muscle. or so I’m told.

  3. name Says:

    lol! make my ovaries explode?? EAT ME!

  4. theBABYsnatcher Says:

    i give up. it’s me. it was me all along. i was even going to do a little insult-war, but this got really old, really fast. ZORBA’S

  5. name Says:

    liar!
    lol! zorbas? lol!

  6. tom Says:

    now we talk borderline schizophrenia

  7. name Says:

    lol! borderline!
    BORDERLINE!!
    …lol!!!

  8. theBABYsnatcher Says:

    you do realize that anyone can type in ‘theBABYsnatcher’ in the name box, right?

    I got my school supplies today. they consisted of batteries, a motor head and david bowie cds (the bowie is better).

    I’ll eat you. after a meat grinder has.

  9. theBABYsnatcher Says:

    I would also point out that the above message from ‘me’ is most obviously not, as I never spell ZOOOORBAS with an epostrophe(or however the fuck you spell it).

  10. name Says:

    EAT ME

  11. name Says:

    also, zuke sucks mega balls

  12. theBABYsnatcher Says:

    you can suck me, bitch.

  13. name Says:

    YOU can suck ME
    LOL!!!!

  14. mark Says:

    fuck bowie, motorhead STOMPS

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