Creativity hasn’t been flowing tonight. I tried to create some basics for a slightly less striking template, but it just wouldn’t work. Everything looked like a copy of something else, and I hated all of it. I’ll give it some time and maybe come up with something a little more elegant when my mind isn’t so tense upon the subject.

I’m sorry to bring it up again, but I’ve got to talk about Fight Club a little more. Not so much the movie, as what I want out of life. I was thinking about it yesterday, and after some deliberation I decided that in the end I really want to be the shocking portrait of normality that movies tell us the media is telling us to be. Not immediately, and not entirely, but essentially, at some level, we all want to be Jack. The point of the movie is that everyone strives to be such a character, but no one really wants to be. And yet, I feel I do. Maybe I just need a punch in the stomach to wake me from this illusion. But for the moment I’ll say that I’ll take my 9 to 5, IKEA-dependant, disturbingly stable lifestyle over a torturous and confusing (if sometimes exhilarating) one. Brave New World, here I come. I don’t want a fight for a vacation, I’ll take a couple hours staring into the T.V. It’s the same effect, and there’s a lot less blood.

I doubt the existence of people like the characters in Fight Club. They’re too perfectly anti-everything; it’s too calculated of an insanity.

Now is the time for living. Of this I am convinced. There may be life after 25 (or whenever), but I don’t see how it could measure up to what this is. If it does, I think most people would be dead by the time they were 30. This lifestyle is self-destructive. It’ll run it’s course and end, hopefully without killing me, but in the meantime I’ve got to wake up and smell the napalm, so to speak. I think the majority of living must be done between the age of 13 and 23. It is the time of such great passions, of such monumental highs and lows, that I think it’s time I stopped gazing around in wonder and joined the fray. There’s a life to be lived, and it’s all just passing me by.

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