Damnit, why must I so desperately want what I can’t have? Even something totally unconsidered suddenly becomes more interesting (at least to some small degree) when its off-limits. How despicably human of me. At least its only temporary (as is everything, I’m finding).

The Barenaked Ladies are singing “Tonight is the Night I Fell Asleep at the Wheel.” Say what you will about them, but I cannot help but like a band that comes up with a song like this. The lyrics are somehow very simple but seem important. Even if they’re just about a car crash:

“In all the confusion, there’s something serene.
I’m just a posthumous part of the scene”

But now it’s moved on to something Green Day.

I believe it when people say history repeats. It certainly seems to for me, at least. However, it isn’t such a bad thing; it’s just a second chance in disguise. If I’ve got enough grey matter to remember why shit went bad last time, this time it doesn’t have to happen. Part of me knows this, at least. The other part of me falls straight into trouble for the same reasons it did the first time around. It’s amazing, my stupidity that way. It’s like the dog who returns after being kicked away. Maybe he just doesn’t know any better. Or maybe he’s starving.

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