I can teleport 1 inch at a time

I am one of the most useless human beings I know. I have a highly bizarre switch built into me. Whenever I am faced with the prospect of actually doing something or having to take charge of myself, I break down and can’t do it. It happened today. I had to go get a haircut, and my mom was demanding that I get it done, and I just freaked out. I mean, a haircut? How complicated is that? And I did it, later, after calming down. But this isn’t going to work in the long run.

background noise: “Deceptacon” Le Tigre

10 Responses to “I can teleport 1 inch at a time”

  1. cordelia Says:

    the british headlines read: tom freaks out and has a nervy b!

  2. el snatcherito Says:

    go live in the mountians with wild animals for a few years. you will either solve this problem or die.

    that mkes me come across as a jerk.

    I wish I had a girlfriend.


  3. cordelia Says:

    i am hating my homework. all i want to do is write in my blog and worry and write and yell at meanies. but no, i am posting dumb comments on tom;s blog. STOP THE MADNESS.

  4. tom Says:

    Girlfriends won’t solve your problems. Not nearly. Going to the mountains won’t, either, but at least then they’ll change a little.

  5. gargantua Says:

    but tom, we’re taking about your problems.

  6. cordelia Says:

    if you go to the mountains your problems will become: nosebleeds from high altitudes and sun burn. dont go there. go under the sea. baby it’s better, down where it’s wetter, take it from me!

  7. tom Says:

    I’ll take the mountains over the sea, but that’s not the point I guess. I’d kind of like both, to tell you the truth.

  8. name Says:

    the problem with the sea is sea sickness. once on a ferry in french waters there was a man in the men’s bathroom vomitting with a french accent. there also wasnt that much dramamine on board so lots of people were sick. the sea was rough that day.

  9. cordelia Says:

    wanting to take the cred for my post (above), i made another comment. apparently the limit is one per 30 seconds. what dumbness.

  10. tom Says:

    how does a vomiting with a french accent sound?

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